Not all who wander are lost

When there are so many things going on your life, in different levels of your life, it is like a roller coaster of emotions. I don't think I should try to contain them, rather surf on these waves. Looking at my childhood I was never constrained with limits thanks to my parents. We moved to a different city when I was 10. Maybe it was the first of many major changes that would come through. Maybe leaving my childhood friends, my house, the streets that I play and the palm trees behind is what made me quite adaptable person.

I got used taking the leap and know that net appears as I go along. If something looks scary, it becomes even more tempting for me. I might be hurt if I do it, I might not fit in (not that it ever happened:), I might be challenged until all settles. But how would I know if it is the right decision if I never make it.

Change scares people. For a person who can easily get attached to things emotionally like me, I am also scared of being ordinary, being boring. I follow my feelings most of the time. In the head vs heart game, my heart always wins. It gets me into trouble, it gets broken; but it is me, it is what makes me. It is also what got me where I am now. If I were to just follow logical patterns, I don't think I would be where I am right now. 

And the important thing that I am proud of is not being where I am now, but being happy with it. Happy that I fell, I struggled, I went to top and to bottom, got hurt, laughed and cried for hours, found myself on so many random days, nights, events. At the end of the day I make it work for me. I even feel blessed to have my life with all its hardships and joys.

Just a desk move triggered this post. I guess this is my 6th or 7th desk in 3 years including different buildings. I feel this is definitely not the last one.

Then I see people who are not ready for new things, moves, relationships, love, job. In fact, I know couple people like this and their stagnant point of views feels like winter on a hot summer day on the beach. But, if not now, then when?