Learn to love the ride

As cheesy as it gets life is a roller coaster. So is relationships, career, and love. When you pick up on the speed, it is first scary. You scream your lungs out. Then you realize the excitement and the rush. You get used to the danger and the speed. You enjoy the up. And then there comes the down. Well, its no fun. It feels like they are pulling your body down in an extreme speed while it is still trying to go up. There is a very heavy feeling in your chest and almost crushing your heart. It is not always a steep down. Sometimes its like a little bump that throws you off of your seat slightly. You try to settle back until the next one. That is if you can.

But if you ride the roller coaster over and over again, you don't close your eyes anymore when it is speeding up. A little "whoa" comes between your lips but you won't be screaming like the first time. You are now prepared for the bumps and downs. You position yourself. You know what to do or not to do the next time not to lose your balance.

Your goal might challenge you, running after the dream job might burn you out, the love might emotionally bring you up or bring you down. Nothing in life is actually consistent. Nothing is ever all good at the same time altogether. How you want to roll with this is entirely up to you. I sometimes feel that I am strong and can survive anything; at times feel really tired of all and want a break from life (and all the subset of things). I don't think what to do is a straight forward answer. I can't pretend something is not bothering me when it is eating me up inside. I am not the type of person (unfortunately) who can just ignore things and say fuck it. 

Thats why I am a strong believer in communication. For all the aspects of life. If there is a bump ahead of me at work, it will help me to know what is the situation that sets the dynamics, what are the options, what is the bet. If the relationship with my friends/boyfriend feels like it is lacking something, I prefer to talk the person directly, voice what feels like a problem. Most of the time it turns out what I think is the problem, is not an issue after all; just a communication breakdown. It just requieres clarification.

So if you know there will be a ride in advance, if you at least know what you can expect, know at which turn the crazy upside down part comes up and at which point the roller coaster will go down at the craziest speed, you will set yourself for it. You will know there will be the part you'll enjoy the hell out of it. 

My attraversiamo story - First moments in Rome

This is my first note I wrote when I arrived to Rome on last Thursday the 16th of January; part of little travel diaries I keep. But I knew I kind of wrote it to share here. I took some parts out that I wanted to keep only for myself, but the most is there. So here it goes with a little delay.

"I just came to Rome, to where I am staying (piazza del gesu luxury suites, great view by the way). Greeted by this super nice Italian lady. Had my first espresso, and then went out. Really calm and warm weather. 

Mind you, it was around 22:30. Came to a pizza place nearby called Rossopomodoro. Luckily they have free wifi. But more than that they say they have pizza from Naples. Either way Pizza had to be the first thing I order in Italy. So I did, with a glass of white house wine, which came as a dry and little sparkly as my waiter already warned me when I was ordering it. 

Turns out (and probably having the shittiest pizza according to Italians but still) I never had pizza in my life ever before. Turns out it was a big lie I was eating. I was in no carbs diet and high amount of exercise which I just broke with a huge margarita pizza. And I can only say I am glad I did. 

Three months after India, here I am, in Rome, by myself. I feel like i am living a mini version of "Eat Pray Love". Only my version goes as pray, eat (and hopefully) love. But maybe this is even more special. Because it is the first time I am alone for a holiday. Even though my alone holiday will be less than 24 hours, I still feel a weird pleasure. I came earlier than everybody else, for myself. I came to a restaurant having pizza and wine and truly enjoying now. At the end, this is what months of yoga has taught me. 

Right now, I have no worries. I can only feel lucky to have my life. I feel I live. And I will remember not to give this up for anything or anybody. Even though the purpose of this trip to surprise one of my best friends, in this moment, right this moment, it is about me and all this happiness I feel.  

Yet again, people disappoint, but pizza is eternal. (But hope not the calories :))"

Everything Happens for a Reason

Things change fast. Things change fast in a good way. One second feels like million years and it feels dark. The next is very bright. Then you appreciate the darkness. Relief. Serenity. Feeling like living again. Loving every moment, every second. 

Just take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Enjoy the scene, happiness and love you feel deep in your heart. Get lost in it.

Good to be weird