Goodbye's not forever

 

I said many goodbyes since my childhood. Changed schools, cities, countries. And not once but for the third time now changing the country.

Although this move is so different than others and this move is solely my move, my dream; it still came down to the most difficult part.

In three days I am leaving Ireland for good and starting a new life in San Francisco. I didn't doubt about my decision for a second. However, I will for sure miss Ireland after spending 4,5 years here. I will miss the green, the countless rainbows, seals in Howth, the countryside, the castle in Kildare, the view in Kinsale, random moments of sunshine, crossing Samuel Beckett bridge everyday, the perfect pint of Guinness, and everything about Dublin. Ireland has a big piece in me; I have Irishness deep inside even though I would deny it. At the end, you can take the girl out of Dublin, but you can't take Dublin out of the girl.

But that's not it. What I will miss the most is the people. People I met here in my Irish story. They are from all around the world. They are Korean, Brazilian, Danish, Italian, Irish, Spanish, Turkish, Romanian.

We spent the most important, maybe most conscious years of our lives together. We became confidants, a big family. We supported each other through every difficulty, we became the safety net, we laughed over so many happy moments (and over so many bottles of wine), we completed each other in so many ways. We picked each other up, we push each other up to next level, we saw each other grow, evolve & even leave.

Yes, I will make new friends wherever I go. Yes, I already have good friends over there. But these people in my life are so unique, I can't think of any possible way to replace them. Their place in my heart will always be so different. I fail to find enough words to explain my love for them, for their place in my heart, what they are to me in my life.

I know this is not a goodbye for good. At some place, at some time we will see each other again. We will make it happen. They will still be in my life despite the 8h time difference. I have no doubt.

Then there is a goodbye for an unfinished story in my life. The one that I know won't be in my life against all odds unlike the others I mentioned. The story will be done without the conclusion. It will always be up in the air. But it will be done. Maybe that's why it will be my hardest goodbye.

Last night, over a dinner, one of my dear friend showed me a quotation from a book.

It said: Love stays with us. Even though they are gone from our lives there is an indefinable bond between the two that cannot be untied. 

Knowing this, I will carry the unfinished story in my heart, thinking of it nicely, remembering it each time I have sushi or eat carbonara or drink spritz in a sunny afternoon or every time I go for a run. Knowing this, I know where ever we go around the world, my tie with the people who matters the most will always be there, not even a tiny bit weaker with time.

So yes, the goodbye to my Irish story out of all the goodbyes I had in my life will be the hardest. 

I will miss each of you deeply, everyday. You each know who you are ♥

Sláinte.